Fire Clouds in the Sky

I was walking with my mother on Crescent Beach tonight after my math class.  The sky over the ocean as the sun is going down is capable of such change.  No two sunsets I've seen over the water is ever the same.  On the way to the beach, Mum pointed over to the ocean and said that "it looks like the sky is on fire!"  and it did!  Colours of bright red and orange lit up even the sides of houses and cottages almost like a huge fire.

In the sky, I noticed that when the light hits it, actually looks like an ocean above the ocean with waves and ripples.  A pointy orange cloud looked like a volcanic mountain in a distant sea far above the ocean (if that makes any sense).  A whole new world seems to exist every night depending on placement of clouds and sun.

Vancouver--Bloom off of the Rose?

I discovered something yesterday--while I still love Vancouver, I realized it couldn't always give to me!  That sounds selfish, I know, but I was hit with a heavy fit of depression and was thinking: why aren't you cheering me up, Vancouver? I was, and still will credit the city for inspiring good feelings in me; however, I know that I have to bring something to Vancouver as well!  It inspires me to write!  I need to write!  I can't wait for it to glow and inspire in order for me to write.  I need to do it!  I was expecting Vancouver to cure me of loneliness, grief, and hopelessness.

I don't know how many of you know Evita! (the musical), but there is a fabulous song in it when Eva Duarte-Peron is arriving for the first time in Buenos Aires and she sings how she's looking forward what it can give her.  She also talks, in a song before, that she wants to "B A part of BA Buenos Aires"!  While I have no intention of doing what Eva did to get to where she got (slept her way up to first lady of Argentina, I admired her spirit of putting herself out there!

"Dream On"

When does dreaming AND wishing end?
Does it ever?
To find the balance of dreaming and actual doing is what I dream most of.

"Dream On", many say in this society with sarcasm dripping like tar.
I could stop dreaming what I dream or I could take it as a dare.

Better yet, "Dream On" is a not-so-gentle nudge to balance dreaming and doing or to consistently work towards it.

City of Beauty-Two Poems

Busy city

Crowds, traffic, beauty.

Parks

(My attempt at Haiku).

Waterfalls and cement

Compatible--in a strange way.

Green grass topping Coal Harbour Centre,

People sunworshipping on top.

Skytrain flying over Vancouver

Burnaby, New Westminster, and Metrotown.

Views of ocean and mountains

...and industry.

Majesty and manufacturing.

Stone Bridge

I want to fly free,
To learn to stand alone and fly alone,
To learn not to care what others think.

I want to fly free,
To learn love all over again,
For me...for others...maybe, someday....
Is already here!

Step One and THEN Step Two

Oh, the things you need to do before you get to where you want to be.

I need to live with my mother and step-father until I'm settled - with a permanent job and place of my own.  It feels, at times, like I never will again walk into my own living room or kitchen.  I know I will but I want it tomorrow!

I'm impatient these days, wanting to perform step three before I finish step one.  In a sense, I am starting from scratch again.  For over twenty years, I was part of a loving twosome.  Though I moved to the coast last fall, I needed to get my bearings, both literal and figurative.  I needed to learn to see the coast as a new resident, not just as a tourist that I've been for so many years.

Tomorrow, I go to Adecco for a job interview.  I'm nervous, but practically bouncing up and down with excitement and impatience.  I want to do the interview now!  I want to work towards the independence I've worked so hard to develop and need to re-learn now as a "single" person.

I'm going to school now and need to complete  the math I quit in high school.  Not being strong, at all, in mathematics, I quit math in grade 10 out of a sense, then, of hopelessness and frustration.  Now, in order to get into a Bachelor of Arts program in English, I need to not only re-acquaint myself with mathematics, but to persist and maybe even learn to enjoy it.  To quote a cliche, I always seem to want to put the cart before the horse.

Step One before Step Two; crawling before walking.  Remember!