Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Move

I went into a fever of excitement, a sense that I was finally going make something happen. Again, like I originally did with Jason, I looked at real estate ads, checked rental rates, and searched the want ads on every part of the West Coast. I began to make it my mission to research the city I loved so much. I wanted to live again. Realistically, I felt that it would still be a year or two before I could even think of relocating. I completed a term position as a school librarian just after the anniversary of Jason's death and started sending resumes to positions in Calgary, thinking it would be good to start work and save money when it was time to move. I did still love Calgary. I no longer liked the winters, especially in 2008/2009. I also found I no longer felt desire to be in Calgary at all. As lethargic as I felt, I spent more and more time on the computer, seriously looking up rental rates and starting to see what I could get for work on the coast. These activities kept me from retreating into a deeper shell which would keep me from socializing with even my closest friends. In the middle of the summer of 2009, I phoned my mother, telling her I had seen some computer courses at Vancouver Community College that I could take. Oh, I knew that there were courses in Calgary, but wanted any excuse to move near the ocean. After two days on the road over the mountains, we--my mother, my step-father, and I--arrived in Surrey. I wasn't used to the idea, after living in my own home for many years, living with my mother, but I was thankful to be there. It was a gift of residence which allowed me to save money while I got settled. While I was eager to get on my own feet, I was desperate to explore! Between moments of grief and mood swings, I went into Vancouver with camera, film, pencil and notebook stuffed into my daypack. I boarded the 351 bus over the Bridgeport station and then went downtown. I was a free agent even though I was uncomfortable with my own company after having such a wonderful travel companion in my husband. As I looked around, I felt the tension begin to seep out of me as Vancouver's beauty mixed with with ocean and mountains, began to fill me. Even with the city's busy-ness and hard concrete, the early architects of Vancouver knew to utilize the ocean to make it attractive even on rainy days.