Wondering What's Beyond across the horizon? (or bookshelf).

If anyone had told me two years ago that I would be feeling the joy of living again, I would've been either really pissed off at you or burst into tears. Now, I'm discovering and re-discovering, singing with less inhibition, and realizing, once again, how much I love learning.

I was shelving books the other day at the Surrey campus of Kwantlen University when I thought, "darn, why do I have so many interests?"  It's a good thing to have lots of interests, but, like a child, everytime I went to a different area in the stacks, it may as well have been a candy store.  As I was at work, I couldn't read the books, just shelve and shift them, but I couldn't wait for my first research assignment since starting university to take out materials that would help me with that research.  Now what topic?  Hmmm. 

Bucket List! Numbers 22 and 23 and 24!

22.  Learn to dance the flamenco
23.  Learn to speak Spanish!
24.  Learn to roll the "rrrr's"!

Journeys

It occurred to me today, the way it has occurred to me many times before: I'm alive and am having to take two journeys at the same time.  One journey is one that I Never would have chosen, that of widowhood.  The other is, maybe because of the first one, the journey I can choose where it takes me! Some people in my life had said that it's all about me now.  Frankly, that terrified me!  I love caring for others and I'm used to making one person my soul focus as I had for almost twenty years.  It's all about me. When I look at my bucket list, I realize that some of them weren't easy to list.  They seemed impossible, but I think, maybe that's why I put them there.  I like the challenge of making many of those on the list part of my journey and very much possible!

Days Like This

It's days like this,

       Where the grey of the sky matches the cold gray of the ocean water,
       Where the rain mixes with snow after the sun comes out, briefly promising a new day,
       Where a heart, not ready for the season, wants to shut out the too-early Christmas music,
        and the ho, ho, ho's of the mall Santa making me want to hide.

It's days like this,

        Where the moods of those around can't be shut out,
        Where the self-importance of a few people who earn more than I do,
               can seem to knock me below ground,
      
       That I have to work harder at seeing the blue in the sky,
       The green of the grass and plant life still breathing, and the promise of goals met.

       That I need to look harder into myself to say "Are those people that important?"
       That I have goals and, as hard as it is some days, I will achieve them!




     

Bucket List : Numbers 14 to 21.

14.  Drive a tractor on a farm.
15.  Visit Northern Ireland where my Great Grandmother, Annie Harbottle, was born.
16.  Visit Carrington, North Dakota, where my Grandmother, Violet Hughes, was born.
17.  Go skiing at Whistler (I've skiied before, but never at Whistler).
18. Work as a Library Tech at a library for longer than 3 years.
19. Complete Degree requirements, get BA and then MLIS (even if I'm 80 when I'm done!)
20. Live on a houseboat.
21. Ride a canal boat through Britain and Europe (doesn't have to be fancy, just floats well).

Bucket List : Numbers 11, 12, and 13.

I've always wanted to go back to Zambia (or anywhere in Africa) so:

11.  Volunteer at an orphanage.
12. Take a safari.
13.  Place flowers on the grave of my foster sister, Ruth Nakazwe.

Bucket List 6-10

6. Get over my fear of snakes by staying in Australia or any of the countries in earlier postings.
7. Get more singing lessons.
8. Ride in a hot air balloon.
9. Hike the Chilkoot Trail in the Yukon up to Dawson City.
10. Sing in a nightclub.

Count on it, I'll be coming up with more.
11-15 coming up tomorrow.