Moving On (originally Introduction 3)

Jason underwent open-heart surgery to replace a faulty aortic valve in June, 2007. After surgery, when he was given permission to travel, we headed to Vancouver in the summer. Jason wasn't able to go far very long without needing rest, but I could already see signs of his energy returning. I could't help but smile after we got off of the plane in Abbotsford--Jason already seemed energized and commented on the sea air. That summer, Jason and I went beyond dreaming and started to plan a future to live at the coast. New hope came as Jason's new valve did its job making us read more andmore about Vancouver, encouraging us to believe how healthy it would be for us to live there.

Unfortunately, Jason suffered his first stroke 8 months later and died March 24, 2008, after suffering a massive stroke while still in the hospital. I thought that was the end of the story--as a matter of fact, I was certain of it...

After a year of pain and numbness, which still threatens to freeze me from time to time, I faced the need, as many who've lost a spouse can imagine, to start living and working on a "new normal"--whatever that is. I spent ten days of a summer holiday in Vancouver with my mother and step-father. They showed incredible hospitality and kindness, but I felt no joy. I felt incredible pain, but there was no significant enthusiasm for places I loved. I was almost afraid to love Vancouver. Chapter's Bookstore? ABC Comic and Book Emporium? Big deal. All I could see were "ghosts" that seemed to resemble him. I couldn't happily bounce down West 4th Avenue as I had done before. Strange thing was: I still loved the coast.

One day, while walking in Ocean Park (a village in South Surrey), I just literally stopped walking and sniffed the air. It was January and the air was crisp but not cold. i felt like I could breathe I think from that moment on, I was destined to live there.

The Move

I went into a fever of excitement, a sense that I was finally going make something happen. Again, like I originally did with Jason, I looked at real estate ads, checked rental rates, and searched the want ads on every part of the West Coast. I began to make it my mission to research the city I loved so much. I wanted to live again. Realistically, I felt that it would still be a year or two before I could even think of relocating. I completed a term position as a school librarian just after the anniversary of Jason's death and started sending resumes to positions in Calgary, thinking it would be good to start work and save money when it was time to move. I did still love Calgary. I no longer liked the winters, especially in 2008/2009. I also found I no longer felt desire to be in Calgary at all. As lethargic as I felt, I spent more and more time on the computer, seriously looking up rental rates and starting to see what I could get for work on the coast. These activities kept me from retreating into a deeper shell which would keep me from socializing with even my closest friends. In the middle of the summer of 2009, I phoned my mother, telling her I had seen some computer courses at Vancouver Community College that I could take. Oh, I knew that there were courses in Calgary, but wanted any excuse to move near the ocean. After two days on the road over the mountains, we--my mother, my step-father, and I--arrived in Surrey. I wasn't used to the idea, after living in my own home for many years, living with my mother, but I was thankful to be there. It was a gift of residence which allowed me to save money while I got settled. While I was eager to get on my own feet, I was desperate to explore! Between moments of grief and mood swings, I went into Vancouver with camera, film, pencil and notebook stuffed into my daypack. I boarded the 351 bus over the Bridgeport station and then went downtown. I was a free agent even though I was uncomfortable with my own company after having such a wonderful travel companion in my husband. As I looked around, I felt the tension begin to seep out of me as Vancouver's beauty mixed with with ocean and mountains, began to fill me. Even with the city's busy-ness and hard concrete, the early architects of Vancouver knew to utilize the ocean to make it attractive even on rainy days.

Vancouver Introduction

As I grew older, I continued to visit Vancouver more frequently. I stayed with my mother between my jobs and school, loving already the constant green of everything there. I married my wonderful husband, Jason White, in 1989, in Edmonton, Alberta, and moved several times before settling in Calgary, Alberta. Once we settled and after my sister moved to the coast, Jason and I spent more summers there. We went once for Christmas, and then started looking forward to Easter and summer and Thanksgiving holidays. Jason had also fallen for Vancouver's charms. We'd get off of the plane (or sometimes the Greyhound) and I'd look at him. Near the ocean, his expressive brown eyes sparkled and his beautiful fair skin glowed with good health and enjoyment. We did travel to other places over the years such as, London, Ontario and Toronto. However, we mostly visited Vancouver, often travelling on the ferry across to Victoria and Ladysmith (where my brother and his family moved). We found that our holidays approached, we yearned for the sea air and moderate climate. If it got hot, we'd just go to the beach and sometimes join my family for barbecues. While Vancouver is criticized often for how much it rains, the expense of living there, and the crime, Jason and I found, during our visits, that the benefits far outweighed anything negative. Don't get me wrong, we did quarrel about it and discussed negatives as well as positives, but somehow we couldn't get rid of the plan to move there.

Vancouver Intro

I've had an ongoing love affair with Vancouver for as long as I can remember. The summer after I turned 7, my family drove from Calgary, Alberta to Vancouver Island. I don't remember very much about that summer except that I loved the ocean and beachcombing. I had a little pixie haircut and cats-eye glasses. We drove in an old Pontiac Parisienne. In those old cars, it was amazing what you could pack into it. In the front were my mother and father. There were 3 of us kids (Steve, Sheila, and I). We stopped in many places that summer (I always loved an adventure). What I wasn't prepared for was how excited I was to see the blue water peaking between buildings. I'm sure I drove my family crazy: "Is that the ocean?", I asked many times, as I couldn't believe that we were finally there.